Pseduo College Essay

...when frustrations hits and you can not write a college essay anymore....

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I am sitting here wondering what I could possibly write or type on this sheet of paper. Yes that sounds cliché but I am literally sitting here thinking that. A brag sheet is a meant to brag and we all know what this is: a brag sheet. So, what can I possibly brag to your college that would make you adore me?

I can list my grades and achievement but that is boring. Well, I can say that I am a very caring person. I really love helping out my friends and peers. It is like a fine banana milkshake! Because I am a caring person, I want to major in nursing so I can help people. I do not suppose it is enough to say I want to help but rather it is a need, an urge. I have always foreseen myself in the medical field ever since I was younger, and that is not going to change one bit.

Now, I still am trying not to be boring in what I write. I do not want my readers drooling over a boring brag sheet that puts them to sleep. My brag sheet will be ruined beyond repair! Will it help if I state that I am energetic? After all, besides my dear twin sister, I can get high off air. Although, I can not say I get high more often than her. Please note that that I am not an airhead because I get high off air. I do have some brains in my seemingly large spacious skull. It does not take much to get me going. Once I am motivated, I get pumped up roaring to go. It will not be surprising I like school and actually doing research (I hope). My energetic self has much energy to spare and where else better than in college? On a side note, please do know I am not a drug addict and have me shipped to a mental ward. Those psychiatrists will tell me to stop inhaling air. I will die, leaving me with no way to proposition myself off to colleges.

Now a third point, for all standard essays a minimum of three major points help to barely pass. Be glad I have enough brain cells to remember this and know I can at least pass English. My third point would have to be my brave and forward personality. I have no qualms in saying what I should not. It makes sense I have no shivers and fright to do whatever is placed upon me. Take the hard course? Sure, all too gladly with a silly smile plastered upon my face. No Sir, I am not afraid. Or should I say no Madame? I do not know who I am suppose to address but I am not suppose to know who is reading my brag sheet. But really, I am quite brave in my own way. I am willing to take difficult challenges and work hard. If I was not, I should rip up this brag sheet and call it quits. Why go to college if I do not want to work hard?

Here, I will insert a fourth point. Do not gape and beware of flies that can fly into open mouths and cause an untimely choking. I am trying to score myself some brownie points for deviating from the five paragraph standard essays. You hate it, I hate it. Six paragraphs essays are beauty, although seven is splendid too. Although, maybe a one paragraph essay would have save you time. Too late for that, so I will just continue. I am an extremely fun person. I love a good sense of humor and joking around. It is my pleasure to bring some life to the classes in college. Do not worry much. I promise not to disrupt the lectures given. No, I will be a good student who gets good grades and ask endless questions. I am not joking about the last part. Warning bells for my future barrage of questions to professors. My enthusiasm will be a joy to any college. I find excitement in books, learning and research. I will be such a nice college décor to your plethora of diversity. I am sure you can see I choose to brag about my splendid personality instead of my achievements or trying to crank out a sob story.

And this is where I say it is the end, you smile or frown or both while I wait for an unsaid measured of time to see if my brag sheet is well received or not. I am more inclined to think the latter but it does matter. One way or another I am going to reach my goals and dreams. I will do it, regardless of the outcome of this silly brag sheet.